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Cattle Cars


In April, 1945, the war was almost over, but not for us.  The Nazi obsession to kill ALL Jews Never weakened.


Yet another transport.  Closed cattle-cars . . .  Lost eyes staring,  Crazed with fever and typhus . . . More hallucinations:



Herded together in the burning sun,

the box-car sealed and standing still

on a hill . . .  at the end of the world.

Once I was hungry – last night, last year?

Once I knew no fear . .  once there were no trains,

Now I dream of rains and tropical fruit,

my throat is on fire.  How long as it been –

how long since I’ve seen my sister?

Panic grips my heart and I start to shake . . .

there she is:  Blaneczka . .. alive, awake –

she touches my brow and cries,

Someone whimpers . . .  someone dies.


I smile and my lips crack.  I am happy, but why?

I forget, I sigh – so hard to recall;

the ghetto . .. the wall . . and my mother gone.

Perhaps she is dead and resting in peace.

I hope she was spared these indignities,

my lovely Mateczka – no, I couldn’t bear

to watch her shrink and fade away - -

Like Stefan’s mother; ugly and mad,

the shaven head, the greedy eyes - -

so utterly dehumanized …

But God is merciful – He is!

Did He not spare my mother this?

These years of agony and pain,

Or is God insane – like me?\


My sister-my-keeper, whispers in my ear:

“Be quiet, my dear, this is a selection”

Yet despite the action – I grin:

“I win, I win.”  My mother is dead

But instead of tears, I laugh and rejoice . . .


O the choiceless-choices we learned to embrace

 . . in that other world . . . in that other place,

where children were burned while mankind stood by

. .. and the universe has yet to learn why,

has yet to learn why.

Home » Survivors » Sonia Schreiber Weitz » Poems >>Cattle Cars